Who knew that she would be the next It girl? After all, she was no longer a girl, not by a long shot. It goes to show how one’s past can catch up and sometimes overtake you.
In 1989, at the ripe old age of thirty-five, Hilary had packed up her desk-job at the mill and went home for the last time. Ever. Her careful planning and subsequent frugality over the last decade had amassed her 1.5 million dollars, of which she would use to fund her early retirement.
But that was not the only reason why she now enjoyed celebrity status among the younger crowd. What elevated her from others who had done the same thing, was that she wrote a book about how to do it and she had taken the time to learn their language.
It started with Reddit.
Hillary’s grand-daughter had recommended it as an interactive platform for the readers of her book, Youthful Retirement. So, being the ever conscientious woman that she was, Hilary joined up and was anointed in the deep end of another language. It mystified her that the language was English, but the meaning was indecipherable. On a further recommendation from her helpful grand-daughter, she bookmarked www.urbandictionary.com and waded out into the dark waters of the internet.
Six months later, when Hilary came up for air, it surprised no one more than herself that her Facebook author page boasted more than 600,000 followers. She was well and truly part of the fam because her advice to others were perceived to be lit.
Hilary’s new found language skills spread into her everyday. She began her day by hitting the barista for a medium double double and shit and literally like chillin with her brahs for a few minutos before heading home. Later, you might find her writing gucci goals AF or hanging with her bae.
Whether they liked it or not, Hilary’s fam was bombarded with the new attitude and humble brags that came with her new language skills. Her husband, Colin, was not hundo p about the change and had gone through the complete cycle of bereavement. The poor man was only just coming out of the depression phase into acceptance. Hilary effectively dealt with the anger phase with her GOAT Resting Bitch Face. In one arch of her eyebrow, Colin had wilted back to his corner to sip his tea in silence.
In the face of so much savage and throwing of the shade, it was a testament to the strength of their relationship that they remained married, barely. But eventually Colin swerved back to her. He couldn’t stand the ratchet so he stopped the salties and finally admitted, ‘I love ya bae, hashtag mybad.’
Hillary and Colin laughed at the extra between them and were surprised that still had the feels for each other. It was a relief to both of them. Hilary felt like a teenager as they got into their onesies and they Netflix ’n Chilled happily ever after.